Life vs Love
by Ink of Crimson
Summary: He was always good at hiding his feelings. Concealing those forbidden thoughts.  But now someone knows. He's been told to stay away. But how do you choose between you life…and your love? Warnings: M/M, boy-love, boy kissing, swearing, violence.


**_OK, soooooo...I came up with this in the theater when I was watching DH:P2,_**

**_(Draven my plot bunny, thought Malfoy was cute. So he demanded I write a story. And then I saw Harry and I'm like fine but I'm making them gay.) I actually spent like 45 minutes after the movie writing this on my phone. :P_**

**_But to the point. YES this is a gay fic. YES that's all I tend to write. YES I will get very grouchy in my next note if I get flamed for it. So if you don't like it, don't read it._**

**_So enjoy. Review if I should continue. If you have suggestions or find a mistake just throw me a PM, and I'll fix it, or try to incorporate it into the story. Ok I'll stop talking now._**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 1: Dark Corridors<strong>_

* * *

><p>I walked along the platform waiting for boarding to begin; father hadn't stayed to see me off, though I didn't really expect him too. So I paced back and forth in front of my trunk, ignoring the swarms of other students, trying to avoid being noticed.<p>

After a while I started hearing familiar voices, the snide remarks, and harsh tones of the other Slytherins pushed through the chaotic mess of noise. I thought about trying to find Crabbe, or Goyle, it would be something to do at least, but just as I turned to walk towards the mass of people, someone slammed into me knocking us both to the ground. I breathed in sharply, pain surging through my whole body, the already sore muscles and bruised skin screaming in protest as I hit the ground,

"Watch where you're going you stupid idiot!" I snapped, as I stood up, willing the pain away. I looked up, so I could properly insult whoever knocked me down, only to find myself face to face with Potter, and his ginger friends. I froze, only for a second, as I got lost in his emerald green eyes, but I snapped myself out of it, painting a false glare on my face.

"Why don't you look where you're going Potter?" The Granger girl tossed her hair back and scowled at me, and Weasley crossed his arms, mimicking her expression, but Potter just smiled, an actual genuine smile,

"Sorry Malfoy, I was in a bit of a hurry, and I didn't see you." It took a moment, but I realized he wasn't actually smiling at me, or even looking at me for that matter, I followed his gaze to the space behind me, where Cho Chang was leaning against a pillar.

Potter didn't even wait for me to speak again, before he ran to Cho, wrapping his arms around her. Granger and Weaslebee, followed close behind, but I wasn't really paying attention, all I could think about was how it must feel, wrapped up in those strong arms, pressed against his warm skin… The train whistle ripped me abruptly from my thoughts, and I was momentarily lost in the rush of people, but I managed to find my trunk handle and got onto the train.

I pushed though the hordes of students, and made my way to the last car on the train. Luckily, the last seat in the car was empty so I weaved my way through the small group of people and slid inside. I quickly propped my trunk against the door to keep everyone else out, before lying down, hoping to ease the pain that was sprawling across my chest and back. I slowly drifted into a daydream, drowning out the voices from the next seat with thoughts of another year of magic, potions, and class with Potter.

"Prepare for stop!" The voice startled me, causing me to fall face first on the floor, and as I stood up I realized I had fallen asleep, shaking off the drowsy feeling, I searched my trunk for my robes, and quickly changed as the train jerked to a stop.

The carriage ride to the school seemed incredibly long this time, as I listened to the babble of everyone's exciting summer holiday, I laughed a little inside, thinking how great it would be if I had a story like theirs to tell, memories of my summer flashed though my head, and several tears spilled out onto my cheeks. I raised my hand to wipe them away, but in that same second it started to pour, washing them away.

I breathed in relief, no one can see the great Draco Malfoy cry, Malfoy's do not cry, it would be disgraceful. When we finally reached the school, everyone entered the Great Hall soaking wet, with the sorting ceremony just beginning.

Over the next half an hour or so, the names of houses echoed in the Hall, followed by clapping and cheering, in the end about 11 new members ended up in each house. The new recruits were instantly surrounded by the older years, questions flew at lightning speed as always, and before the massive amounts of food appeared on the tables Dumbledore gave his speech, we'd heard it 6 times already, and by now most of us had memorized it.

When all of the traditions were finally over, I quietly slipped away from the Hall and into the nearest bathroom, I need to get away from the crowd, I felt like I was suffocating, I could barely breathe, and the pain searing across my back and chest weren't helping.

I moved silently down the hall hoping no one would see me, and quickly slid into the large empty room, closing the heavy wood door behind me. I leaned against the wall for a second, trying to steady my breathing, and keep the pain from making me collapse.

I tossed my robes to the ground, and turned towards one of the mirrors, flinching at the sight of myself, while no one else noticed it I had grown so much paler since last year, my eyes were fading to a smoky grey, my hair nearly as white as my fathers. I was disgusted by how much I resembled him; I desperately wanted to dye my hair, something more beautiful and sleek, like black, Raven black, the same color as Harry's hair…

'No!' I screamed in my head, slamming my fist into the stone wall, 'Stop thinking about him!' I sunk to the floor, resting my head on my knees, I wanted to cry, I'd wanted to cry for so long, so many years, but no "A Malfoy doesn't cry." I could still hear his words in my head, burning his rules into my mind, turning me into him.

The creak of the door made me jump, I scrambled to my feet, trying to pretend everything was fine, but when Hermione's face came into view I scowled,

"What do you want? And what are you doing in the boys' bathroom?"

"Stay away from him Malfoy. He's finally happy with someone. Don't even think about messing it up." Her hand clutched around her wand, I could tell she was furious.

"What are you talking about Granger? Have you gone completely mad?" I tried to hide the fear in my voice. If she could see…then who else had? Who had she told?

"I see the way you look at him. I'm not stupid Malfoy. But I'm just warning you now… if you even try to come between him and Cho…Ron and I will see your secret exposed to the entire school." I had never seen Granger like this, and I could see by the look on her face, she was defiantly not kidding.

"You're bonkers Granger. I have no clue what you're talking about. Now get out before I get a professor." I turned my back to her, pretending to fix my hair in the mirror, waiting for her to go. But when she didn't move, I went to draw my wand. It's not like I would hurt her, but maybe she'd leave. I turned to face her, but when I went to pull my wand it flew out of my hand, into hers.

"I told you I'm not stupid Malfoy." She stepped forward, her wand held out to my throat.

"Now. Stay away from him." I couldn't help my hands from trembling slightly, I couldn't help being scared of her, the anger that was flooding in her eyes…was terrifying.

"I can't…" My voice shook, making me stutter. "I…love him…"

* * *

><p><em><strong>OK yes it's a pretty lame beginning, but hold on. I promise it gets better.<strong>_

_**So you know the drill... Read it, review it. But don't flame me. I hate that.**_

_**:) Lemme know if you find a mistake, if you have ideas throw them my way in a pm.**_

_**Love you all. Thanks for reading.**_


End file.
